Confessions of a Myspace Blogger

Roughly ten years ago, during my first year in Thailand, I wrote a number of blog posts on Myspace (is that a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ thing?). I originally signed up for the site to meet new people (okay, women). It actually was a really useful site back then to meet new people (as in actual people), and I ended up finding my first circle of friends in Bangkok on it.

I didn’t want to put my real name up on the site (it was public), but also didn’t want to explain that it was a fake name when I met people. I thus opted to use my middle name as a compromise. The first ‘crew’ I met there started calling me by my middle name – and then their friends did and the friends their friends did. And that’s how you end up with a new name.

On a side note, nowadays, when people ask me how to go about meeting new people in the city, I tend to recommend meetup.com – similar principle: meet new people based on interest in places where newcomers commonly hang out and where it’s not specifically about drinking or dating.

Here’s 24-year old Karsten making bad decisions in Bangkok and writing about them. I made some minor edits to remove names and make the formatting fit this blog.

Let’s get started with ‘travel’ writing…

Yesterday I managed to get lost between China Town and Hua Lamphong. I ended up in a settlement along the railroad tracks not too far from Hua Lamphong station. According to some shop owner I just had to follow the tracks to get to the station (makes sense if you think about it).

Fast forward two minutes: I am standing on a train bridge over a klong, below me only the wooden bars that you always have below the train tracks (it wasn’t a solid bridge) – and well, the tracks of course. Two steps forward – look back if a train might be coming. Two steps forward – look back again. Oh well, doesn’t seem too bad. “Hey Farang!”. Hu? Looking up ahead – whops. Train is coming. From the other side. And I am on the middle of the bridge. Several meters to each end, with no sidewalk. And that train looks kind of wide. That kind of “oh my god it’s coming towards me wide”. Well if it comes to fight or flight I choose flight if it’s against trains. Hurrying back over those wooden bars, train approaching from behind and a bunch of locals cheering me in the “oh how can he be so goddamn stupid now hurry up or you won’t make it” voice.

Well, since I am actually writing this, you probably guessed right that I did indeed make it. It wasn’t even close. A longer bridge would have been a problem though: In that case I would had to lie to down flat next to the tracks if I wanted to avoid the train and the klong at the same time. Still would have been possible. I think.

Just random stupidness on my part.

I should note that a class mate of mine got killed while walking home (probably drunk) on the railroad tracks (that was back in Germany). After that happened, I never walked on any railroad tracks again. That was until yesterday. And with good reason as it seems.

In hindsight, movie critic can be safely ruled out as a career choice. Just copying and pasting this makes me cringe:

Memento
Good movie. Not OMGWTFH4XORZ…. but definitely good. Extraordinarily well told story, nice twists, humour and an excellent ending. Let’ say an 7/10.

V for Vendetta
I don’t know quite why, but I really like this one. It seems like a mix between Sophie Scholl (never seen it) / Equilibrium / Zorro. Probably all of those intentional. The Wachowskys are a little over the top with some fighting scenes, but I found it to be creative and well told story. Interesting hero as well – 8/10.

The Butterfly Effect
I tend to rate it the same way as Memento. Good movie, good story, though at the end it got a little week. (spoiler coming – chooochooo) Yes, he found the one little butterfly flap that changed it … but that movie just doesn’t feel as it should have nice ending. Everything should go down the crapper. It could have taken a turn like many Outer Limits episodes =). Bonus points for having the drama queen from Scrubs as “the girl” – 7/10.

Legend of Zorro
That movie is a crime against eyesight. It’s so horribly bad that it crosses the line into good again … and passes it way beyond into offensively horrible. Dialogues, acting, story, stunts… everything. So when I was talking about V for Vendetta being a mix of whatever Zorro … this is not the one I meant 🙂

Another movie review. Spelling mistakes and all.

Reservoir Dogs
Oh the suckage. Honestly, I want my two hours back. It’s boring.

[   ] Decent / Good / Great Movie
[X] Most overrated movie on IMDb
[X] My business partner’s most overrated movie

Great characters and how different their stories are and how even criminals are unqiue in their attitudes and reasons. Oh and creative story telling. And awesome characters. <– all of that, my ass.

It’s drawn out. There are no surprises. Violence is random and boring – but I’ll let that one pass since it fits in with all that character-heavy theme (why didn’t he make a documentary by the way?). It comes over as a real story. And a boring one. The single line “based on a true story” would have made it an outstanding movie. The lack of it, makes it a bad movie. Yes, it could be. But it isn’t. It’s not ironic. It’s not sarcastic. It’s not funny. The soundtrack was good – but there was not enough of it. It’s Quentin Tarantino practicing. It was another two years before he became great.

A repost of funny remarks I found elsewhere. I actually noticed that when I came across a collection of old ‘funny pictures’ I downloaded from the Internet nearly 20 years ago, I still find a majority of them funny. Usually I’m more aware of all the things I no longer find funny, but I’d say about 60% stays constant.

• On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom ) — “Do not turn upside
  down.” (well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
• On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.” (talk about a news flash)
• On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate
  machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
• On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.” (…and you thought????…)
• On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping. (That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
• On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
• On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that would be???….)
• On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (but, it’s just a suggestion.)
• On packaging for a Rowenta iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.” (but wouldn’t this save me time?)
• On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (..I’m taking this because???….)
• On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (as opposed to what?)
• On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.” (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
• On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: say what?)
• On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
• On a Swedish chainsaw — “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.” (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

A blog post about kangaroos. Or not.

Macropodidae

I just need to make a blog post so I don’t forget this animal category. It literally means BIG FEET and in layman’s terms we can just go with “Kangaroos”.

What you DON’T want to know about Kangaros

Their belly bags in which they carry around their young also serves as frequent storage unit in cartoons. What all of us unquestionably accepted at an age where we don’t really question things but actually dream of doing it ourselves (Yay! Kangaroo Ride!), might be – behold – a myth. In reality you don’t want to put anything in there, unless it’s suposed to get wrapped in Kangaroo liquids. Yeah.

They are also a bad choice in tekken-style games where they serve as fun characters. It stays this way until someone of far superior skill uses them to win against you anyway. In that case these cute little critters with boxing gloves become tools of a sadism that mock your violentlyexposed lack of skill at a game controller.

What you DO want to know about Kangaroos

This list is quite compact:

• They belong to an animal category called Macropodidae. Which is a totally awesome name 😉
• Writing blog posts about them makes you look like a boring person and keeps people away who don’t have the patience to read something to the very end.
• I actually enjoy giving out advice in regards to great clubbing and nightlife locations in Bangkok. If you need any help getting around or looking for some interesting places, send me a message.
• Being helpful is fun. So is making people to smile 🙂 This said the same goes for movie and book recommendations, great pan cake restaurants, nice coffee corners and vegetarian food that blows you off your feet (no pun intended)
• If you’re new in town or just look for some sight-seeing places of the beaten tracks, I can probably help you out with a few pointers.
• Years of self-imposed internet consumership probably make me a decent source for a number of research topics. That’s another offer of help by the way.
• If you need help finding out more about IT, jobs or anything related to that in Thailand. Again, send me a message.
• Seriously, I’d like to pack as many help offerings here as possible, but I am running out of ideas. If you have any, message me please 🙂
• Kangaroos, Kangaroos and Kangaroos

Aside from the above posts, there were a lot of animated gifs and funny pictures, most of them ones I found on the Something Awful forums. That used to be one of my favorite sites around that time. Unfortunately the image links are all broken. Digging them out might be a task for another day.